Most of us are familiar with male erectile dysfunction, and there are several quick solutions from the magic blue pill to the P-shot. But what is female sexual dysfunction, and is it just as easy to solve with a pill or an injection? In most cases, the root of the problem is cultural and psychological and can’t be solved simply with a pill.
First, what is sexual dysfunction? The Mayo Clinic defines sexual dysfunction as “Persistent, recurrent problems with sexual response, desire, orgasm or pain — that distress you or strain your relationship with your partner.” Sound familiar? If you’re facing any of these issues, you’re not alone. Studies show that while 95% of heterosexual men report that they usually or always orgasm during sex, only 65% of heterosexual women report the same. So if so many of us are experiencing these less than satisfactory outcomes from sex, why aren’t we talking about it and what’s causing the problem?
Lack of Education
The women’s movement has become a powerful force in advocating for gender equality. In the wake of the #metoo movement, consent and women’s bravery have become a frequently talked about topic. But what happens after consent is given? In this day and age, women’s sexual health is still a topic that is not openly talked about.
Women have been sold short by school programs, media and society at large on sexual education. Porn and movies overall often portray unrealistic and misleading sexual experiences for women. These depictions of sex and relationships can lead women to feel confused and uncertain about their own sexuality and what to expect from sex. This plays a large role in the misinformation and shame around sexual dysfunction in women.
Lack of Desire
Lack of desire is self-explanatory – the drive to have sex just isn’t there. Desire is a mental experience that leads to a physical response so the issues often begin with your mental state. Stress, exhaustion, religious and cultural factors, and fear of pregnancy or sex itself can all wreak havoc on your sexual desire.
Lack of Arousal
This is a ‘failure to launch’ where despite a desire to have sex, your body does not respond accordingly. Think dry vagina, pain during intercourse and trouble reaching orgasm. The cause is also often mental – other life stressors that prevent the mind from relaxing and enjoying the moment.
Anorgasmia
Anorgasmia refers to the inability to experience an orgasm. Frustratingly, but not shockingly, this is quite common for women and as many as one in three women have trouble reaching orgasm. Physical conditions such as pelvic floor disorders, diabetes, multiple sclerosis and gynecological cancers can be the cause of the issue as well as certain medications.
Vaginismus
Vaginismus is a condition where the pelvic floor muscles spasm and cause the vagina to involuntarily tighten which prevents a penis from entering. This can be caused by repeated yeast infections, urinary tract infections or mental challenges like fear of sex, pregnancy or trauma from sexual abuse. Dyspareunia
Dyspareunia is pain during or after intercourse. The cause can be endometriosis, vaginismus, urinary tract infections, dry vagina or a combination of physical and psychological factors.
Sexual Dysfunction Treatments
The good news is that all of the sexual dysfunction issues listed above have solutions, but the bad news is that because the causes are so variable, there is no one-size-fits-all solution. Sometimes the issues are stemming from a physical issue that requires the help of a doctor to heal the original problem. If the problems are being caused by a distressed mental state, a sex therapist or couples therapy can be a solution.
It goes without saying that issues in the bedroom can cause issues in relationships as well. But, relationship issues can also be the cause of sexual issues. For example, mismatched sexual desire is cited by many sex experts as the most common issue they see between couples. The root of the problem is often emotional problems between the couple and sexual issues are resolved through communication and learning how to express their needs to each other.
If you’re not at the point where you feel the need to see a therapist, there are still tricks you can use to recharge your sex life. These simple strategies can be used to help reinvigorate your sex life if you simply need a jump start for your desire and arousal.
- Hint at sex before you have it: Giving your partner flirty hints like a sexy text can help build up suspense and imagination that give your body and mind time to prepare for sex.
- Remove stressors: If you have a never-ending list of things to do in your brain, you won’t be able to relax and enjoy the intimacy with your partner. Take some time to write out a to-do list and then put it away, knowing that your pleasure should always be at the top of your list.
- Feel sexy inside and out: A lack of confidence in ourselves can ruin the enjoyment of sex. Do whatever you need to do to perk up your confidence and feel sexy – put on perfume, take a long shower and apply lotion afterwards, or dress up in some lingerie. As the saying goes, “look good, feel good!”
- Set the scene: Get a little cheesy – think rom-com level romance. Dim the lights, light a candle, put on a favourite playlist. These little things can make the experience more special and help you feel present at the moment.
- Take a deep breath: Mindfulness is a powerful tool for more enjoyable sex. Taking a few deep breaths to connect to your mind and body can help to separate your busy exterior life from your sex life with your partner.
- Take your time: Studies show that women need about twenty minutes of foreplay to prepare their bodies for penetrative sex. Going slow and taking your time for foreplay will ensure that your body and mind are ready.
For physical issues that can’t be resolved between you and your partner alone, it is important to see a doctor. Your sexual health is just as important as other areas of your health. Pain during intercourse, vaginal dryness, hormonal changes due to childbirth, breastfeeding and menopause are all valid reasons to schedule a doctor’s visit.
Schedule a Consultation
Book an appointment with restorative gynecologist, Dr. Darren Lazare. Express your concerns and discuss the vaginal rejuvenation procedures that may be right for you – vaginoplasty, labiaplasty, Viveve and more.
